“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Have you ever thought that the lack of money in your life could be a cause of you’re a lousy receiver?
Two weeks ago I joined the Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar in Berlin. There the theme receiving came out strongly. We practised to receive in many ways: People who had that day a birthday or a wedding anniversary came on the stages. Then everyone sang to them, and they had to stay on the stage, and receive our congratulations with open arms, not to bow and be humble, but to gracefully enjoy the limelight. We learned to receive hugs and compliments. When someone tells you something nice, you just say: “Thank you!” You do not have to ponder what compliments you have to give back! No no: just say: “Thank you!” And RECEIVE joyfully. Joy is a form of gratefulness.
Receiving Feels As I’m Not Enough
I want to be independent and brave, capable woman. Receiving feels as I’m not enough. By receiving anything, I get thankfulness-obligations that weight as a burden. When someone offers help, I feel that the person sees me as a helpless individual. Who wants to feel disabled? Not me!
I remember some cases when people have asked to help me. Sometimes on the airports or metro-tunnels men have offered their help to carry my luggage on the stairs. A friend of mine said that he could come to help me to install my curtain rails.
I said: “No thank you! I do it myself.”
I Am An Independent Woman!
Look: I am an independent woman and a good giver. Giving is good. Receiving is a weakness! As a giver, I got the power! I installed my curtain rails myself, drilled the walls and hanged thee curtains. Of course, I can do it. After the work, I can put high heels and go to the city to dance. But surely, if a man thinks that I am needy: what a mistake. I buy my opera ticket myself as well as build my home myself; it is for sure.
There is nothing I can not do. I cook good food. I go shopping. I earn my money. I took care of my child. I can sew and make clothes. I can plan a house and do it officially. I fix all matters with my computer and other technical machines. I can drill holes in the walls and install shells, furniture and whatever.
What Is The Connection Between Your Financial Situation And Receiving?
I suddenly understood the connection between incomes and the talent of receiving.
There is nothing I couldn’t do when I decide to. Just earning money is difficult. Why should I take money or services or help from someone? It can bind me to something that makes me own something to someone whom I like, but with whom I do not want any closer relation.
Asking for money is difficult. Receiving money used to be so tricky and whenever I got it, it was better to give away as fast as possible. Giving is better than receiving. Or is it? At some point, it starts to be exhausting!
Look at your bank account and your wallet. Then think, are you a receiver or do you only want to give? How it correlates with what you see?
Are You Saving Your Money For The Bank?
”Poor people spend first and invest what is left. Rich people invest first and spend what is left.”
The bank is a great receiver. Because the most of us are brilliant givers, we give our money away to the bank without questions. Ironically, we call that action ”saving money”. We save it for the bank instead of investing in ourselves.
When I put my money in the bank, things turn somehow upside down. I give my money, but suddenly the bank looks after what I do with the money I earned. They can see my account and how I use my money. They have a right to send letters and remind me of this and that and start to control my life. I have given them my money and the power.
What a smart business idea: Give me your money and pay me for it! Why nobody pays me because I live in their house? I keep their house alive and in order!
The Change Has Come!
I change my life. From now on, I learn to receive and look, what happens with my incomes. I pay myself first. I invest in me, in my life and in those who are meaningful to me.